It's a headline you'll never see or hear. Aside from Botulism, Mad Cow Disease, E-coli outbreaks or outright poisoning, few people actually die from eating. More people die from lack of food, or malnutrition, than from dull cuisine. O.K.; there are food allergies, heart ailments from excess cholesterol, and once in a while you hear about an unfortunate choking victim-- blah, blah, blah. My point is that if you don't use a bit of imagination to feed yourself both properly and with gusto, your soul can starve, too.

The saddest part is that this kind of starvation can happen without your even noticing it. People tend to develop boring, middle-of-the-road eating habits early on, and never acquire a taste for the new, the exotic, or the exciting. New foods intimidate them; they're as scared of garlic as vampires are. A fine Bordelaise sauce is beyond their comprehension; if gravy doesn't come from a can, they're just confused. I don't suggest that they should rush out and attend a culinary school, or quit their jobs and watch The Food Channel all day long, but those of us who are capable of appreciating the finer elements of haute cuisine ought to feel some obligation to our less inspired brethren, shouldn't we? If we don't educate them how will they catch sight of the wonders beyond their narrow, fixed horizons?

You're at a website devoted to fine dining and good food; I don't need to preach to the choir. If you've read this far, you must share my enthusiasm for the subject. Or did you wander in from a stray link? Are you confused because there are no naked, sweaty people to be seen here? All right then; here's a treat for you: Some beefcake! Eat everything on your plate, and you can bulk up and look this way, too. Even if you're currently a woman. We're discussing fine food and hedonistic lifestyles here. Sybarites only! Take a long look; enjoy it. You're welcome. Now go away.

Appetite is ordinary, eternal machinery-- like the grinding of the stars. It's always there, waiting to be acknowledged and, moreover, appeased. Ignore it at your peril. If you nourish yourself with bland food, you run the risk of dulling the senses and losing the ability to savor the rare and special delicacies the world has to offer you. The slow death of dull familiarity and habit can creep up on you, and one day you'll open a can of Beefy-os, or some other nutriform, alimentoid substance, and actually (gasp!) smack your lips! By then it's too late; you've damaged your appetite for the finer things. You're doomed to a world of mechanical consumption. You're in Junk Food Jail... Hang up your taste buds, sport. You're through.

Taste is one of the five senses. It can wither and fade as surely as eyesight unsupported by proper lenses or speech untutored by proper grammar. Imagine a world populated by nothing but Mr. Magoos and Stanley Kowalskis...scary, no? Would you wear mittens to try and feel the texture of fine silk? Would you wear earmuffs to listen to a glorious Bach concert? No! But you can hamper your sense of taste by eating dull meals. Treat yourself to the best foods you can! A good diet doesn't mean you have to deprive yourself of excitement. Why settle for the ordinary? Your taste buds will accept a truly tremendous range of stimuli-- and they'll thank you for the exercise! Now, imagine a world filled with Julia Childs and Craig Claibornes... O.K.; that's scary, too-- but you'd be able to get a damn fine meal just about anywhere!

You see them at lunch counters everywhere: folks whose regular fare is burgers and fries; whose idea of a "fancy" meal is a steak and a baked potato. The most exciting dessert they know is artificially flavored gelatin (with some canned fruit in it--and maybe some pseudo, non-dairy "topping"--ooh!) They feed their hunger out of sheer, drudging habit. The wooden-palated plodders! How do they avoid the pleasures of the table and cling to such banal, pedestrian choices, day in and day out? They satisfy their basic needs out of necessity; never with a sense of delight in the sheer variety available to them. Appetite must be appeased with offerings that stimulate and uplift you. Hunger can be dulled with just about anything at hand. These people never developed a sense of awe at the limitless possibilities of food to enrich and enhance their existence. They just fill the void with what's handy.

Did some early trauma shake them so that they never grasped the concept of eating as stimulation, and not just to replenish the body's fuel supply? What happened to them? Why do they lack all sense of adventure? My guess is that they were raised in some very odd, claustrophobic fashion, and the deprivation of their early years has shaped their outlook on life in general, and fine dining in particular. Here is one such person making out his grocery list:

People like this are the potatoes of the world, simple and earthbound. Like the serviceable, no-frills tuber, they can be reborn into glory with a minimum of work and a little bit of imagination. We should make it our mission to rehabilitate them. Invite them to dine with us, and slip a little garlic into their stew. Secrete a bit of cilantro in their salad; roast their vegetables with a sprinkling of rosemary; drizzle some raspberry liqueur onto their plain vanilla ice cream; gradually coax them to accept new flavors and new foods... in other words, save them from themselves! We need to spread the word; to wake them up to the pleasures of the table. Everyone has to eat to stay alive. Suppose we were to show these people how to turn a necessity into an act of pleasure and imagination? Let's show them how much fun great dining can be!

Naah; why bother? Leave them in their spud-like ignorance! More goodies for those of us who can appreciate them, eh? Remember the parable about casting your pearls before swine: If the swine gobble down your pearls, belch, and ask for a Twinkie to get that nasty pearl taste out of their mouths, won't you feel a fool, then? Plus, your pearls are gone and you haven't enlightened the swine! Forget the pearls for a moment; how about real gourmet food, like truffles? Swine may have a knack for rooting them up from under the ground, but that doesn't necessarily mean they appreciate their flavor. Mealtime is just another chore to them. They'd probably be just as happy with a fast-food cheeseburger.

Choice #1

The Consumer

Choice #2